Setting a table

Imagine – the Queen of England has invited you to lunch. The table will be set with a lot of cutlery, but what should you do with them. And why? And when? You decide not to go. Nonsense! Here I will give you some tips on what each type of knife and fork is meant for and what to do with them. There are various ways to set a table – formal and informal – but they may be easy to decipher. So I will explain the more difficult setting. And when you have mastered that, it’s time to organise a chic holiday dinner.

Do not wolf down your food, even if you are very hungry

Menu

Appetiser or salad
Soup
Fish dish
Main dish
Dessert

Charger plate – there is always a large plate on the table that serves as the base for all the other smaller plates upon which the food is served, such as the soup dish, appetiser plate, and salad plate. That remains on the table until its time for the main dish, when it is removed and the main dish is served. 

Bread plate – that is always located on the left, which is important to know, so that you don’t experience what I did at a dinner at a Michelin restaurant when my colleague sitting to my left used my plate, but the person on the right used the plate on the left – the correct plate. Fortunately, I had a good relationship with my colleague, so we shared the plate. But the Queen would not accept that (ha, ha). So, the bread plate sits on the left, and a knife is usually placed on the plate for butter or cutting the bread (if necessary).

Appetizer or salad knife and fork – these are for the appetiser or salad that are usually served first. Use both, not just the fork.

Soup spoon– soup is traditionally served right after the appetiser.

Fish knife and fork– fish is always served before the meat dish, and fish gets its own fork and an interesting looking knife. In this case again, you should use both utensils.

Meat knife and fork – meat is usually the last savoury dish to be served, and the largest knife and fork are used. If steak is on the menu, a steak knife should be provided. If some are eating a different type of meat, then they use the knife provided, but those eating steak should have the regular knife replaced with a steak knife.

Dessert spoon and fork (in rare cases a small knife can also be provided, but only if absolutely necessary) – both are meant for enjoying dessert. The fork is used for the drier portion of the dessert, such as cake, but the spoon is meant for spooning up the sauce.

Forks are always placed with tines facing up.

Knives and forks are placed parallel to the plate and each other.

Glasses

Water glass – this is the basic glass that remains on the table the entire meal. Usually it is the largest glass.

Champagne glass – This type of dinner always starts with sparkling wine or champagne, so it is the next glass in order. If champagne is not being served, then this glass is not placed on the table.

White wine glass – the next glass is for white wine, which should always be served with fish. It oftens suits the appetizer as well, because champagne is just an aperitif.

Red wine glass – meat also has appropriate wines, and in 99% of the cases, this is usually red.

Dessert wine glass – if there is a full course meal, as it would be visiting the Queen, then dessert wine is always served in this specially designated small glass.

Coffee cup and saucer – in table setting photos, you will often see the coffee cup and saucer placed on the table from the start, but my experience in restaurants in various countries shows that the coffee cups are usually brought to the table at the end of the meal, after dessert.

Glasses are always arranged from the left, but don’t be surprised if you see it the opposite in some restaurants or celebrations. In any case, the water glass will always be on the far left. The order of glasses, from left to right, is water, dessert wine, red wine, white wine, and champagne/sparkling wine. The glasses are removed after each course from the right. 

Glasses are placed 45 degrees to the edge of the table.

Good to know

- If you plan for amuse-bouche or compliments from the chef, then the cutlery is always brought when the dish is served or separately, but they are not placed on the table in advance. 
- Cutlery is used from the outside in, which means that the first ones you will use are located on the outside.
- Eat with you mouth closed and don’t chomp!
- Do not blow your nose at the table and don’t clear your throat!
- The napkin on the table should be placed on your lap.
- Do not wolf down your food, even if you are very hungry. Don’t saw your food – stab it with your fork, cut nicely, and enjoy!
- Cut as much as you will put in your mouth. Don’t cut up everything, as you would do for a small child.
- Take a drink only after you have swallowed your food.
- The napkin is meant to be used – wipe your mouth. It’s not just decoration.
- If bread, pepper, or something on the table is not within arm’s reach, ask for it to be handed to you – don’t reach!
- Always excuse yourself before leaving the table.
- When finished eating, place the knife and fork next to each other on the plate, not any way you choose. If they are not next to each other, that means you have not finished eating.
- There are many other things you should remembers, and sometimes it seems too much, but it’s good to know, just in case:
- Serve women first.
- Wine for tasting is given to the person who ordered it. Then it is served to women first, then men, and finally to the person who ordered and tasted it.
- In France, the host and hostess are served last, and they determine who sits where at the table.
- If you are at a restaurant, remember that the servers are not your servants – treat them with respect.
Don’t snap your fingers at the server – that’s rude.
- Food is served from the right and removed from the left. The exception is if you are expected to serve yourself from a dish being held by the server. In that case, food is served from the left. The rest of the time food is both served and also removed from the right. 
- You should not put more than three types of cutlery on the table (the exception is oyster forks). If more than three courses are planned, the cutlery for the remaining dishes are placed just before the dish is served.